Spielberg and A Shit-Ton of Famous People

VOTE!

(Jason Segal is a Republican? I am confused.)

(Props to Timberlake for funniest line)

America...Fuck Yeah! (Part 3 in a Series)

This video is part of the America...Fuck Yeah! series.

After a struggle spanning more than 70 years the women's suffrage movement secured the right to vote for women in the US with the passing of the 19th Amendment. Listen closely after watching this video; you can hear Elizabeth Stanton, Lucretia Mott, and Susan B. Anthony rolling over in their graves.

A-Rod, No Pants, Madonna Nowhere To Be Seen

Guitar Hero 4's newest TV spot, or as I like to call it "A Collection of the Douchiest Athletes of All-Time".

A-Rod, Tony Hawk, Golden Boy Phelps, and Kobe reenact Tom Cruise's lip-Synch scene in Risky Business.

Notice how they only put the black man in pants in order to not embarrass the others.

Will Ferrell's W. Makes Triumphacated Return

I keep forgetting about SNL Weekend Update Thursday Edition. Last night Will Ferrell revived his George W Bush caricature to give his endorsement in this important election between "the hot lady and the Tiger Woods guy". Tina Fey shows up for yet another strong performance as Sarah Palin.

I recently heard an interview with SNL Head Writer Seth Meyers during which he discussed Ferrell's W. character. Meyer's talked about how it became increasingly difficult for Ferrell to do the character after 9/11. Bush had transcended from this Joe College president to the country's pillar of strength in one of our darkest hours. He could no longer in full faith play W. as the frat boy in the oval office. Now that W. is a lame duck, it appears it's game on for Ferrell.

Ferrell intends on bringing his W. character to Broadway early 2009 (around the inauguration).

(Transcript can be found below)



WILL FERRELL AS PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH - "Hello, my fellow Americans. I have chosen to schedule this impromptu address at night because quite frankly every time I speak during the day, the Stock Market goes in the crapper. So, sorry, Asian markets. You take the hit on this one. I come to you tonight in the midst of a very important election between two very qualified candidates: the hot lady and the Tiger Woods guy. Both candidates are heavily patriotized and display much characterization. And yes, I did have three Xanax and a Silver Bullet about a half-hour ago. I'm out of here in a few months, so screw it. But before I leave I wanted to help Sarah Palin and John McCain by giving them what every candidate wants most: a prime-time heavily publicized network endorsement from George W. Bush. Hey, don't pinch yourself John, you are awake!"

FERRELL AS BUSH (CONT'D) -- "Now I tried to do this several months ago but somehow it kept getting pushed to a written press release or a shouted sentence as I walked to the helicopter. I began to suspect that they didn't want my endorsement to be too public. But now with the country on a big upswing and my numbers on the rise, I thought it was time to give a proper, large scale 'much love' to McCain and Palin..."
(WILL FORTE, as an AIDE enters and whispers in BUSH's ear)

FERRELL AS BUSH (CONT'D) - "What? Really? Why didn't you tell me Jeff? I've just been told by my trusted aide Jeff, that the country is actually in a horrible downward spiral and that my approval numbers are lower than ever. That one's on me. Four months ago, I declared the Oval Office a bummer-free zone. So... You know what, let's bring on Senator McCain and Governor Palin."

(TINA FEY as GOVERNOR SARAH PALIN enters smiling and waving and sits next to BUSH on the front the desk)

TINA FEY AS GOVERNOR SARAH PALIN - "So nice to meet you, Mr. President. I've seen you on TV."
FERRELL AS BUSH - "Where's McRage?"

FEY AS PALIN - "You know, John McCain and I have been so busy travelin' around this great country of ours talkin' about change and energy independence and William Ayers, and doin' a little shoppin', but unfortunately Senator McCain, upon hearing you wanted to give him a super public endorsement, cannot be found. He was last seen travelin' on foot through the Adirondacks. But my husband and two of his drinkin' buddies are in pursuit on snowmachines.

FERRELL AS BUSH - "Well, We'll smoke him out. George Bush always finds his man save for one huge exception."

FEY AS PALIN - "We are gonna get 'er done."

FERRELL AS BUSH - "My God you are folksy."

FEY AS PALIN - "Why thank you Mr. President. I like to think I'm one part practiced folksy , one part sassy and a little dash of high school bitchy."

FERRELL AS BUSH - "For a little while I was trying to be folksy but after a bit, it just came off douchey. All right, let me get into my endorsement for you as Vice President. As you know America, the office of Vice President is the most important office in the land. The Vice President decides when we go to war, how we tax the citizens and how we interpret the Constitution. The President can do nothing without checking with the Vice President. That is why Sarah Palin..."

FEY AS PALIN - "Actually, Mr. President, I don't want to go all Katie Couric on you, but I think it's actually the other way around. I think the Vice President reports to the President."

FERRELL AS BUSH - "Really? That's not what Dick Cheney told me when he sat me down on the first day."

(DARRELL HAMMOND as SENATOR JOHN MCCAIN is brought in, struggling with JASON SUDEIKIS as TODD PALIN in a snowsuit.)

SUDEIKIS AS TODD PALIN - "We out-mavericked the maverick!"

HAMMOND AS MCCAIN - "Good evening, my friends. Mr. President, always a pleasure."

FERRELL AS BUSH - "Good to see you, John. Hey let's get a photo of this; it'll really help your campaign out. Now let me do this: I, George W. Bush, endorse John McCain and Sarah Palin with all my heart..."
(MCCAIN tries to drift out of frame but is pulled back by BUSH)FERRELL AS BUSH (cont'd) - "John was there for me ninety percent of the time over the last eight years. When you think of John McCain, think of me, George W. Bush. Think of this face. When you're in the voting booth, before you vote - picture this face right here. A vote for John McCain is a vote for George W. Bush.(to MCCAIN) You're welcome. So, I want to be there you, John for the next eight years."

FEY AS PALIN -The next sixteen years!

FERRELL AS BUSH - (to an off-camera photographer) "Let's get a safety. I think I blinked on that last shot. Thumbs up, everybody. But most of all I support them because...Live from New York...It's Saturday Night!!!!

America...Fuck Yeah! (part 2 of a series)

Welcome to "America...Fuck Yeah!" a series of stories, articles, and anecdotes about the various personalities involved in upcoming election and the American citizens that will be voting for them. This series aims to shine a light on a broad cross-section of absurdity in the American political experience. It will try to be nonpartisan (as much as humanly possible) and thought provoking…the thought more often than not being "Ummm maybe we should consider Canada".

That Scarf Makes You Look Like An Ass!

We have all read about the $150,000 that the McCain/Palin campaign has spent on new clothing and accessories for Sarah Palin and family. Personally I am OK with this, even though that kind of money can probably buy a family a home in some of these “small-towns” that Palin likes to call “real America”; I realize the RNC can’t have their VP candidate and family running around in Hooters t-shirts and trucker hats. They had to get them a new wardrobe.

At a campaign stop in Reno, NV on Tuesday Gov. Palin broke out an accessory from her shopping spree. Photos show the candidate wearing a brightly colored red white & blue scarf with the word “vote” on it. It’s a patriotic keffiyeh that advocates voting…no problem there, right?

Wait… are the animals doing the conga line around the word vote what I think they are?

You betcha! Those are Donkeys, the mascot of Democratic Party. But Gov. Palin would never adorn herself with such an anti-American beast on purpose right? This is obviously some sort of conspiracy by those pinko commie un-patriotic liberal left wing socialist radicals at Saks Fifth Avenue and Neiman Marcus.

This woman may be Vice President. America…Fuck Yeah!

(H/T to Huffpo & Jezebel) (Images from Getty)

America...Fuck Yeah! (Part 1 of series)

Welcome to "America...Fuck Yeah!" a series of stories, articles, and anecdotes about the various personalities involved in upcoming election and the American citizens that will be voting for them. This series aims to shine a light on a broad cross-section of absurdity in the American political experience. It will try to be nonpartisan (as much as humanly possible) and thought provoking…the thought more often than not being "Ummm maybe we should consider Canada".

The first post in this series was originally posted yesterday over on Deus Ex Malcontent. It is a no-joke, totally exists, posting from the Christ-centric online community "In Jesus".

Block African witchcraft curses against McCain and Palin NOW!
Jim Bramlett Sep 28 2008 04:12PM

Dear friends:THIS IS EXTREMELY SERIOUS.Minutes ago I spoke with
friend Dr. Norman G. Marvin, M.D. and he is so concerned at what he has learned
about Barack Obama's family in Kenya that he is calling a special prayer meeting
in his home to pray against the witchcraft curses attempted by them against John
McCain and Sarah Palin.Dr. Marvin sent me the below e-mail from Flo
Ellers. Flo is credentialed with the International Fellowship of
Ministries which is based in Washington State. She is also a member of
EndTime Handmaidens and Servants of Jasper, Arkansas.
IF YOU KNOW HOW TO DO SPIRITUAL WARFARE, PLEASE PRAY TODAY AND
CONTINUALLY THAT ALL SUCH CURSES BE BROKEN AND SATAN'S PLAN FOR AMERICA BE
DEFEATED, IN JESUS' NAME. PRAY AND COVER MCCAIN AND PALIN WITH THE BLOOD
OF CHRIST. IF YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW TO DO SPIRITUAL WARFARE, IT IS TIME YOU
LEARN!!!Jim
______________________________________

From Flo Ellers. Excerpt.

Two days ago, I listened to a 9-6-08 message by Bree Keyton, a young
woman evangelist who had just traveled to Kenya and visited Obama's home village
and what she found out about his relations with his tribal people was chilling.
And his "cousin" Odinga was dreadful. She said the witches, warlocks and those
involved in satanism and the occult get up daily at 3 a.m. to release curses
against McCain and Palin so B. Hussein Obama is elected.

Bree Keyton told the tribal "Christians" you are NOT Christian if you
practice "tribalism" where they do voodoo to conjure up a goddess spirit or a
"genie" and then come to church on Sunday to worship Jesus! What she discovered
there is apparent in most churches around the world; namely, mixture in the
church. Some renounced their devilish practices of blood covenant by killing
sheep, goats, humans to be inducted into the tribe or to get a wife or to get
revenge.

She said the current president of Kenya is a Christian. However,
Obama's cousin Odinga ran aganist him and said he rigged the election and
stirred up the masses to rape woman and boys, kill and burn and torture
Christians, etc. until Obama contacted Condeleeza Rice and she granted Obama the
right to contact Odinga and other ruling elders and he "convinced" them to stop
terrorizing the Christians. Bree Keyton said the current Christian President was
forced by our government (!) to "create" an office for Odinga (to make "peace")
so he was made the Prime Minister (!) to make peace between the Christians and
Odinga's Muslim religion!

Bree Keyton went and visited Obama's tribal people and she found out
Obama is 75% Arab and his family are Muslims. Odinga is strill trying to become
the President of Kenya. If he does, he will make a law forbidding all public
preaching and institute Sharia Law. Bree K. said Odinga has made a pact with
satan.

Bree K. also said when Obama visited his tribe in '06 and as late as
Jan. '08 he went to every elder's home which has a "shrine" inside to worship
the genie and asked for their blessing. She was told Obama and Odinga were both
"destined" before they were born to be president/leader of their nation. They
say "he is the chosen one". She said Obama's grandmother sacrificed a black and
a white chicken to the "goddess of the river" so both whites and blacks will
vote for Obama. All Islam loves and worships Obama. The world is mesmerized by
him. Oprah's 200 million followers are out to elect Obama. Also, Dick Morris of
Fox News was sent to Kenya to help Odinga run his campaign! I find that
unbelievable.

The occultists are "weaving lazy 8's around McCain's mind to make him
look confused and like an idiot".

Bree K. said we need to break these curses off of him that are being
sent from Kenya.I read a portion of "Obama Nation" book and looked at several
websites and found most of this information to be true, all except the curses
part, of course....End of excerpt.

Don't believe it? Here's the link to "In Jesus". Still don't believe it? Here is the link to Bree Keyton Ministries. Check out the first paragraph of Bree K's bio...classic.

America...Fuck Yeah!

Please check out Deus Ex Malcontent...it truly is some of the smartest writing on the Internet.

Iceland is Broke!

You read that headline correctly, The Republic of Iceland is currently fighting for their economic lives. According to the Guardian:

By the start of this year, Iceland's three banks had foreign liabilities of more
than $100bn– dwarfing the country's gross domestic product of $14bn.
Now,
suddenly, everything may be gone, the economy wiped out with the same
cataclysmic devastation that was regularly visited on the land by the eruptions
and plagues of earlier centuries.

Now admittedly, apart from Reyka Vodka (yum!) I don't know much about Iceland, their history, or their economic system, but I would have to imagine this is all some sort of karmic retribution for unleashing Bjork on the world.

Here's my suggestion. Let Disney buy the country. Owning a whole country really is the only logical step in the company's progression.

Don't Call It A Comeback

First off, allow me to apologize for the prolonged and never-mentioned absence. Without getting into details, a few major things happened to me the past few months that pulled me in many directions and acted as a major distraction in my life. Suffice to say this blog became collateral damage.

But that is in the past now and we are back online.

You can expect to see the usual array of entertainment and pop-culture stories and news, as well as some possible new features (don't want to say anything into everything is set in stone).

I also intend on adding some political coverage for at least the next few months. This is a historic election with the possibility of this country's first African American President or this country's dumbest person (possibly ever) being elected Vice President (I would mention she is the first woman GOP nominee for that position, but her stupidity exceeds her femininity by a long shot). We as a nation in many respects are at a precipice...strap in folks, it's gonna get interesting.

I am thrilled to be back and am looking forward to bringing the snark.
(If things seem a tad sparse at first please bear with me as I get the ball rolling again.)