Saved By Zero Kills

Genius!

"Enemy" & "Jungle" Get The Axe From NBC

It was announced this week that "My Own Worst Enemy" starring Christian Slater and "Lipstick Jungle" were both being canceled by NBC.

This comes as no surprise, even though it seemed like NBC was pushing "Enemy" hard (it's television ads were nearly as ubiquitous as those damn "saved by zero" spots) and "Jungle" had been for some unknown reason given a second season. Both shows sucked so hard they could take the chrome off a tailpipe.

What is surprising....that shit stain of a show "Knight Rider" survives. Producers of the show claim to be re-vamping the show, but not even the fact that Val "Iceman" Kilmer does the voice of K.I.T.T. can save it.

Looking on the bright side, "Friday Night Lights" will take one of these time slots once it returns to NBC after its run on Directv.

Of course with the failure of the much hyped "Enemy", last season's disaster "Bionic Woman", and a steady decline in ratings for "Heroes" there is some mudslinging going on at NBC. It appears that once again Co-Chairman Ben Silverman (the apparent Teflon Don of NBC) will once again avoid taking any heat for the failure of prominent NBC shows. The shit storm all seems to be touching down in Universal Media President Katherine Pope's domain. Pope, who was one of the original producers of "Heroes", basically got the job based on the success of that show. Now there is concern that she is qualified for the job. According the the NY Post (I know, a dubious source) she has gotten the nickname "The Black Widow" because "every show she touches turns to death". Ouch.

Meanwhile Silverman, who hasn't had the best run of luck with shows lately either (we looking at you Knight Rider, Kath & Kim, and Crusoe), is in talks to re-up his contract with the studio. Yeah, it seems his failures save the company money and it's all about the bottom line and not silly things like ratings and quality.

The way I see it, as long as NBC keeps "The Office", "30 Rock", and "Chuck" going I am a happy camper.

Linday Lohan is an Out of Touch Tool

Lindsay Lohan went into her interview with Access Hollywood's Maria Menounos determined to show just how smart she really is. She decided to hit the ground running and jump right in to the hot topic of politics and the election of Barack Obama. Things went pretty well for Lohan...for about 30 seconds. That's about when she referred to Obama as "our first colored president".

Colored. Seriously.

Lohan went on to say "As the chairman of the Welcoming Committee, it is my privilege to extend a laurel, and hearty handshake to our new . . . n****r."

(Just kidding...that was good old Howard Johnson from Blazing Saddles.)

Headline: "City Councilam Pisses On A Crowd Of People, Gets Arrested"...He Must Be From New Jersey.

Yup, I was right. Jersey City, NJ City Councilman (for the time being) Steve Lipski got drunk and pissed off a 2nd floor balcony onto the crowd below him at a concert in Washington DC. This is as good of a metaphor for government that I have ever heard. NBC New York reports:

A Jersey City councilman has reportedly been arrested for urinating on a
crowd of concertgoers from the balcony of a Washington D.C. nightclub.
The New York Daily News reports in Sunday's editions that two-term Jersey
City councilman Steve Lipski has been charged with simple assault.
The newspaper says 44-year-old Lipski was removed from a place called the
9:30 Club on Friday night. That's after club staffers saw him relieve himself
onto the crowd from a second floor balcony during a concert by a Grateful Dead
tribute band.

I salute you Councilman Lipski. You have struck a might blow against the hippie horde. Their passive nature and pitchouli stench threaten our way of life. Bravo sir.

And It Begins

President-elect Barack Obama's motorcade had to make an unexpected stop while on their way to a security briefing with the FBI in Chicago. An LA Times pool reporter witnessed the incident:

The SUV cut the car off immediately, and the security team aimed their weapons
at the car. The driver and passenger in the sedan stopped, and looked stunned --
until the male driver appeared to understand what was happening (your pool
reporter could see him mouth "Obama"). The motorcade continued on. The sedan
remained stopped, near the side of the road. [...] Some of the drivers here in
Chicago do not seem to understand that a) the Chicago police car at the end of
the president-elect's motorcade is serious about having traffic pull over when
the officers flash their lights and hit their sirens, and b) it's not a great
idea to jump ahead of traffic by trying to cut around the black SUV filled with
five heavily-armed secret service CAT members.

I love the part about the driver mouthing "Obama". I am pretty sure they left out the part where he mouth "oh shit" and then winced a little as he crapped his pants.

Someone Needs A Xanax

It appears no one is taking the 2008 election results harder than W's dog Barney.

"That One" Won

(Patrck Moberg)

Pretty. Friggin. Cool.

Now the real work begins. Even though President-Elect Barack H. Obama does not get sworn in until Jan. 20th his transition into this nation’s highest office starts today.

First order of business is selecting and naming his first Chief-of Staff. Front runner for the position is Rep. Rahm Emanuel, the 4th highest ranking Democrat in the House of Representatives, Chair of the Democratic Caucus, and the man mostly responsible for the Democrats huge success in the 2006 elections.

I LOVE this choice. Emanuel is widely regarded as an enforcer and pit-bull (no lipstick). He was one of the principles that helped get Bill Clinton elected and was for a long time considered “the brains” of the Clinton White House. He was the staffer that took on the projects everyone viewed as unwinnable…and won. He was responsible for things like the ban on assault weapons and squaring off with Republicans on Clinton Impeachment. In a 2005 feature about Emanuel in Rolling Stone magazine the politician from Chicago was described as:

He's got this big old pair of brass balls, and you can just hear 'em clanking
when he walks down the halls of Congress," says Paul Begala, who served with
Emanuel on Clinton's staff. "The Democratic Party is full of Rhodes scholars --
Rahm is a road warrior. He's just what the Democrats need to fight back."

More importantly, he was the basis for the character Joshua Lyman on The West Wing. (Interesting note: His brother Ari is a Hollywood agent and the basis for Ari on Entourage).

My favorite story about Emanuel that I have heard though is about the night after Clinton won the election. While at a celebratory dinner with his colleagues, he became so enraged about the newly elected president’s enemies that he stood up and starting listing off their names, shouting “Dead…dead…dead” after each name and stabbing the table with a steak knife.

This guy is my kind of lunatic!