This is Too Weird Not to Post

The Wachowski Brothers (Brother & Sister?), the directors who brought us the supremely awesome The Matrix and the less than awesome sequels, are at it again. This time it's the live action remake of the cult classic cartoon Speed Racer, starring Emile Hirsch, John Goodman, Christina Ricci, and Susan Sarandon(!?!?).



I admit it, I have never actually seen an episode of Speed Racer, and judging by this trailer I am not seeing the movie either. I'm not quite sure what the fuck was going on there, but whatever it is, it doesn't look good. In fact, my first reaction after watching the trailer was "this movie looks like the Mario Bros. movie"...Not good.

I can understand why Emile Hirsch decided to sign on to this project. He is a great actor, probably even too good for this movie, but he has never received mainstream exposure. If he stars in a successful blockbuster (which this has the formula to be), then he is golden. Just look at Shia LaBeouf, a pretty good actor in his own right, but languishing in obscurity. Then he did Transformers (not to mention the surprising success of Disturbia) and now he is Hollywood A-List and starring in the new Indiana Jones movie (which will make him a household name).

And I can understand why Goodman is doing it, he needs the work. Last year he voiced the Dunkin Donuts commercial campaign and was paid in Munchkins.

But Susan Sarandon? Seriously?!?!?! First Mr. Woodcock and now this. Did she lose a bet? The woman has won an Oscar for Pete's sake. She doesn't need to be doing these movies. Glenn Close and Meryl Streep should find her, throw her in the back of a van, take her to an abandoned warehouse, and smack some sense into her. Can we make this happen?

I don't think even Hirsch and Sarandon can save this movie.

In other bizarre celebrity news...

Madonna would now like to be called by her middle name, Louise.

An insider reveals that the singer born Maddona Louise Veronica Ciccone “has started telling us all to call her by her middle name” - after 25 years of being Madonna and then Esther, the Hebrew name she adopted when she began practicing Kabbalah. The latest moniker change “has to do with the fact that she’s having an age crisis,” the insider says about the star… “She says she wants to go back to her roots!” Madonna’s rep denies the story.

This woman has gone through more names than Prince. Fuck that, for now on I will refer to Madonna as "Skeletor Arms" and Guy Ritchie as "Guy Who Can Do Better".