SAG Awards Nominations Announced

Award season continues to pick up steam with the nominations announcement for another prominent awards show, the Screen Actors Guild Awards. Obviously being a SAG event the awards are solely for acting, so no Best Picture (Best Cast may be closest to it), Director, Cinematographer, etc. here.

These are actors judging and voting on other actors. You would hope there is more emphasis on the performances and less politics than in some of the more mainstream award shows.

The big snub here seems to be Leonardo DiCaprio for his performance in Revolutionary Road, which he received a Golden Globe nom for last week.

What is interesting about this years SAG Awards is that SAG is currently debating calling for a strike after the new year. If the strike vote does come down the pipe and is voted for by its members there may not be a ceremony at all.

Here are the nominations, my predictions in bold.

THEATRICAL MOTION PICTURES

Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Leading Role

RICHARD JENKINS / Walter Vale - "THE VISITOR" (Overture Films)
FRANK LANGELLA / Richard Nixon - "FROST/NIXON" (Universal Pictures)
SEAN PENN / Harvey Milk - "MILK" (Focus Features)
BRAD PITT / Benjamin Button - "THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON" (Paramount Pictures)
MICKEY ROURKE / Randy - "THE WRESTLER" (Fox Searchlight Pictures)

Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Leading Role
ANNE HATHAWAY / Kym - "RACHEL GETTING MARRIED" (Sony Pictures Classics)ANGELINA JOLIE / Christine Collins - "CHANGELING" (Universal Pictures)
MELISSA LEO / Ray Eddy - "FROZEN RIVER" (Sony Pictures Classics)
MERYL STREEP / Sister Aloysius Beauvier - "DOUBT" (Miramax Films)
KATE WINSLET / April Wheeler - "REVOLUTIONARY ROAD" (Paramount Vantage)

Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Supporting Role
JOSH BROLIN / Dan White - "MILK" (Focus Features)
ROBERT DOWNEY, JR. / Kirk Lazarus - "TROPIC THUNDER" (Paramount Pictures)
PHILIP SEYMOUR HOFFMAN / Father Brendan Flynn - "DOUBT" (Miramax Films)
HEATH LEDGER / Joker - "THE DARK KNIGHT" (Warner Bros. Pictures)
DEV PATEL / Older Jamal - "SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE" (Fox Searchlight Pictures)

Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Supporting Role
AMY ADAMS / Sister James - "DOUBT" (Miramax Flms)
PENÉLOPE CRUZ / Maria Elena - "VICKY CRISTINA BARCELONA" (The Weinstein Company)
VIOLA DAVIS / Mrs. Miller - "DOUBT" (Miramax Films)
TARAJI P. HENSON / Queenie - "THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON" (Paramount Pictures)
KATE WINSLET / Hanna Schmitz - "THE READER" (The Weinstein Company)

Outstanding Performance by a Cast in a Motion Picture
DOUBT (Miramax)
FROST/NIXON (Universal Pictures)
MILK (Focus Features)
SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE (Fox Searchlight Pictures)
THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON (Paramount Pictures)

PRIMETIME TELEVISION

Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Television Movie or Miniseries
RALPH FIENNES / Bernard Lafferty - "BERNARD AND DORIS" (HBO)
PAUL GIAMATTI / John Adams - "JOHN ADAMS" (HBO)
KEVIN SPACEY / Ron Klain - "RECOUNT" (HBO)
KIEFER SUTHERLAND / Jack Bauer - "24: REDEMPTION" (FOX)
TOM WILKINSON / Benjamin Franklin - "JOHN ADAMS" (HBO)

Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Television Movie or Miniseries
LAURA DERN / Katherine Harris - "RECOUNT" (HBO)
LAURA LINNEY / Abigail Adams - "JOHN ADAMS" (HBO)
SHIRLEY MacLAINE / Coco Chanel - "COCO CHANEL" (Lifetime)
PHYLICIA RASHAD / Lena Younger - "A RAISIN IN THE SUN" (Lifetime)
SUSAN SARANDON / Doris Duke - "BERNARD AND DORIS" (HBO)

Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Drama Series
MICHAEL C. HALL / Dexter Morgan - "DEXTER" (Showtime)
JON HAMM / Don Draper - "MAD MEN" (AMC)
HUGH LAURIE / Gregory House - "HOUSE" (FOX)
WILLIAM SHATNER / Denny Crane - "BOSTON LEGAL" (ABC)
JAMES SPADER / Alan Shore - "BOSTON LEGAL" (ABC)

Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Drama Series
SALLY FIELD / Nora Walker - "BROTHERS & SISTERS" (ABC)
MARISKA HARGITAY / Det. Olivia Benson - "LAW & ORDER: SPECIAL VICTIMS UNIT" (NBC)
HOLLY HUNTER / Grace Hanadarko - "SAVING GRACE" (TNT)
ELISABETH MOSS / Peggy Olson - "MAD MEN" (AMC)
KYRA SEDGWICK / Dep. Chief Brenda Johnson - "THE CLOSER" (TNT)

Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Comedy Series
ALEC BALDWIN / Jack Donaghy - "30 ROCK" (NBC)
STEVE CARELL / Michael Scott - "THE OFFICE" (NBC)
DAVID DUCHOVNY / Hank Moody - "CALIFORNICATION" (Showtime)
JEREMY PIVEN / Ari Gold - "ENTOURAGE" (HBO)
TONY SHALHOUB / Adrian Monk - "MONK" (USA)

Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Comedy Series
CHRISTINA APPLEGATE / Samantha Newly - "SAMANTHA WHO?" (ABC)
AMERICA FERRERA / Betty Suarez - "UGLY BETTY" (ABC)
TINA FEY / Liz Lemon - "30 ROCK" (NBC)
MARY-LOUISE PARKER / Nancy Botwin - "WEEDS" (Showtime)
TRACEY ULLMAN / Various Characters - "TRACEY ULLMAN’S STATE OF THE UNION" (Showtime)

Outstanding Performance by an Ensemble in a Drama Series
BOSTON LEGAL (ABC)
DEXTER (Showtime)
HOUSE (Fox)
MAD MEN (AMC)
THE CLOSER (TNT)

Outstanding Performance by an Ensemble in a Comedy Series
30 ROCK (NBC)
DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES (ABC)
ENTOURAGE (HBO)
THE OFFICE (NBC)
WEEDS (Showtime)

Yes We Can!

(Click image for larger version)

Check out the Top 20 Mugshots of 2008 at TSG.

"I Don't Know What The Guys Said, But I Saw His Sole"

29 year old Iraqi reporter, Muntadhar al-Zaidi, threw his shoes at President Bush at a press conference during Bush's surprise trip to Iraq over the weekend.

The President was unharmed in the attack...in fact it looked like he was enjoying himself. The quick thinking Bush (first and last time you hear me say that) even was able to come up with a pun worthy of the NY Post right then and there. The reporter was subdued by the Secret Service and removed from the room.

In a related story - Muntadhar al-Zaidi has been signed to pitch for the Yankees.

Golden Globe Nominations Announced This Morning

The awards season has officially begun with the Hollywood Foreign Press Association's announcement of the 2009 Golden Globes nominations. As usual there are some head scratchers in there. For instance, I didn't realize In Bruges was even good, let alone award worthy. Who knew?

I realize a lot of people feel like these awards ceremonies (especially the Globes & Oscars) are unnecessary opulent displays of Hollywood pretentiousness, and they may not be wrong. I wonder if the HFPA and the Academy will be cognizant of the mood in this country (and around the world) as we endure a frightening economic crisis and tone down their ceremonies this time around.

Like last year I will make my predictions in bold (if last year was any indication I would NOT suggest usng this as a Golden Globes betting guide).

1. BEST MOTION PICTURE – DRAMA
THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON
Warner Bros. Pictures and Paramount Pictures; Warner Bros. Pictures and Paramount Pictures
FROST/NIXON
Imagine Entertainment, Working Title, Studio Canal; Universal Pictures
THE READER
Mirage Enterprises; The Weinstein Company
REVOLUTIONARY ROAD
An Evamere Entertainment BBC Films Neal Street Production; DreamWorks Pictures in Association with BBC Films and Paramount Vantage
SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE
Fox Searchlight Pictures and Warner Bros.; Fox Searchlight Pictures and Warner Bros.

2. BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A MOTION PICTURE – DRAMA
ANNE HATHAWAY – RACHEL GETTING MARRIED
ANGELINA JOLIE – CHANGELING
MERYL STREEP – DOUBT
KRISTIN SCOTT THOMAS – I'VE LOVED YOU SO LONG (IL Y A LONGTEMPS QUE JE T’AIME)
KATE WINSLET – REVOLUTIONARY ROAD

3. BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A MOTION PICTURE – DRAMA
LEONARDO DICAPRIO – REVOLUTIONARY ROAD
FRANK LANGELLA – FROST/NIXON
SEAN PENN – MILK
BRAD PITT – THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON
MICKEY ROURKE – THE WRESTLER

4. BEST MOTION PICTURE – COMEDY OR MUSICAL
BURN AFTER READING
Working Title/Releasing Company; Focus Features in association with Studio Canal
HAPPY-GO-LUCKY
Summit Entertainment, Film4, Ingenious Film Partners, Miramax Films; Miramax Films
IN BRUGES
Blueprint Pictures; Focus Features
MAMMA MIA!
Relativity Media, Playtone, Littlestar; Universal Pictures
VICKY CRISTINA BARCELONA
Mediapro; The Weinstein Company

5.BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A MOTION PICTURE – COMEDY OR MUSICAL
REBECCA HALL – VICKY CRISTINA BARCELONA
SALLY HAWKINS – HAPPY-GO-LUCKY
FRANCES MCDORMAND – BURN AFTER READING
MERYL STREEP – MAMMA MIA! (possible double win?)
EMMA THOMPSON – LAST CHANCE HARVEY

6. BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A MOTION PICTURE – COMEDY OR MUSICAL
JAVIER BARDEM – VICKY CRISTINA BARCELONA
COLIN FARRELL – IN BRUGES
JAMES FRANCO – PINEAPPLE EXPRESS (only because I'm shocked to even see him here)
BRENDAN GLEESON – IN BRUGES
DUSTIN HOFFMAN – LAST CHANCE HARVEY

7. BEST ANIMATED FEATURE FILM
BOLT
Walt Disney Pictures; Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures
KUNG FU PANDA
DreamWorks Animation SKG; Paramount Pictures
WALL-E
Walt Disney Pictures and Pixar Animation Studios; Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures

8. BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
THE BAADER MEINHOF COMPLEX (GERMANY)
(DER BADDER MEINHOF KOMPLEX)
Constantin Film Produktion GmbH; Summit Entertainment, LLC
EVERLASTING MOMENTS (SWEDEN/DENMARK)
(MARIA LARSSONS EVIGA ÖGONBLICK)
Final Cut Productions Aps; IFC Films
GOMORRAH (ITALY)
(GOMORRA)
Fandango; IFC Films
I'VE LOVED YOU SO LONG (FRANCE)
(IL Y A LONGTEMPS QUE JE T’AIME)
UGC YM/UGC Images/France 3 Cinema/Integral Film; Sony Pictures Classics
WALTZ WITH BASHIR (ISRAEL)
Bridgit Folman Film Gang/Les Films D'Ici/Razor Films/Arte France/ITVS International; Sony Pictures Classics

9. BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A MOTION PICTURE
AMY ADAMS – DOUBT
PENELOPE CRUZ – VICKY CRISTINA BARCELONA
VIOLA DAVIS –DOUBT
MARISA TOMEI – THE WRESTLER
KATE WINSLET – THE READER

10. BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A MOTION PICTURE
TOM CRUISE – TROPIC THUNDER
ROBERT DOWNEY JR. –TROPIC THUNDER
RALPH FIENNES – THE DUCHESS
PHILIP SEYMOUR HOFFMAN – DOUBT
HEATH LEDGER – THE DARK KNIGHT
(Tropic Thunder with two noms here?)

11. BEST DIRECTOR – MOTION PICTURE
DANNY BOYLE – SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE
STEPHEN DALDRY – THE READER
DAVID FINCHER – THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON
RON HOWARD – FROST/NIXON
SAM MENDES – REVOLUTIONARY ROAD

12. BEST SCREENPLAY – MOTION PICTURE
SIMON BEAUFOY – SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE
DAVID HARE – THE READER
PETER MORGAN – FROST/NIXON
ERIC ROTH – THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN
JOHN PATRICK SHANLEY – DOUBT

13. BEST ORIGINAL SCORE – MOTION PICTURE
ALEXANDRE DESPLAT –THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON
CLINT EASTWOOD – CHANGELING
JAMES NEWTON HOWARD – DEFIANCE
A. R. RAHMAN – SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE
HANS ZIMMER – FROST/NIXON

14. BEST ORIGINAL SONG – MOTION PICTURE
“DOWN TO EARTH” — WALL-E
Music by: Peter Gabriel, Thomas Newman
Lyrics by: Peter Gabriel
“GRAN TORINO” — GRAN TORINO
Music by: Clint Eastwood, Jamie Cullum, Kyle Eastwood, Michael Stevens
Lyrics by: Kyle Eastwood, Michael Stevens
“I THOUGHT I LOST YOU” — BOLT
Music & Lyrics by: Miley Cyrus, Jeffrey Steele
“ONCE IN A LIFETIME” — CADILLAC RECORDS
Music & Lyrics by: Beyoncé Knowles, Amanda Ghost, Scott McFarnon, Ian Dench, James Dring, Jody Street
“THE WRESTLER” — THE WRESTLER
Music & Lyrics by: Bruce Springsteen

15. BEST TELEVISION SERIES – DRAMA
DEXTER (SHOWTIME)
Showtime/John Goldwyn Productions/The Colleton Company/Clyde Phillips Productions
HOUSE (FOX)
Universal Media Studios in association with Heel and Toe Films, Shore Z Productions and Bad Hat Harry Productions
IN TREATMENT (HBO)
Sheleg, Closest to the Hole Productions in association with HBO Entertainment
MAD MEN (AMC)
Lionsgate Television
TRUE BLOOD (HBO)
Your Face Goes Here Productions in association with HBO Entertainment

16. BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A TELEVISION SERIES – DRAMA
SALLY FIELD – BROTHERS AND SISTERS
MARISKA HARGITAY –LAW AND ORDER: SPECIAL VICTIMS UNIT
JANUARY JONES – MAD MEN
ANNA PAQUIN – TRUE BLOOD
KYRA SEDGWICK – THE CLOSER

17. BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A TELEVISION SERIES – DRAMA
GABRIEL BYRNE – IN TREATMENT
MICHAEL C. HALL – DEXTER
JON HAMM – MAD MEN (Although I can see it going to Hall as well)
HUGH LAURIE – HOUSE
JONATHAN RHYS MEYERS – THE TUDORS

18. BEST TELEVISION SERIES – COMEDY OR MUSICAL
30 ROCK (NBC)
Universal Media Studios in association with Broadway Video and Little Stranger Inc.
CALIFORNICATION (SHOWTIME)
Showtime Presents in association with Aggressive Mediocrity, And Then...
ENTOURAGE (HBO)
Leverage and Closest to the Hole Productions in association with HBO Entertainment
THE OFFICE (NBC)
Deedle Dee Productions, Reveille LLC, Universal Media Studios
WEEDS (SHOWTIME)
Lionsgate Television

19.BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A TELEVISION SERIES –COMEDY OR MUSICAL
CHRISTINA APPLEGATE – SAMANTHA WHO?
AMERICA FERRERA – UGLY BETTY
TINA FEY – 30 ROCK
DEBRA MESSING – THE STARTER WIFE
MARY-LOUISE PARKER – WEEDS

20. BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A TELEVISION SERIES – COMEDY OR MUSICAL
ALEC BALDWIN – 30 ROCK
STEVE CARELL – THE OFFICE
KEVIN CONNOLLY – ENTOURAGE
DAVID DUCHOVNY – CALIFORNICATION
TONY SHALHOUB – MONK

21. BEST MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
A RAISIN IN THE SUN (ABC)
Sony Pictures Television
BERNARD AND DORIS (HBO
Trigger Street Independent Productions in association with Little Bird and Chicago Films and HBO Films
CRANFORD (PBS)
A Co-Production of BBC and WGBH Boston.
JOHN ADAMS (HBO)
Playtone in association with HBO Films
RECOUNT (HBO)
Spring Creek/Mirage Productions in association with Trigger Street Productions, Everyman Pictures and HBO Films

22. BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
JUDI DENCH – CRANFORD
CATHERINE KEENER – AN AMERICAN CRIME
LAURA LINNEY – JOHN ADAMS
SHIRLEY MACLAINE – COCO CHANEL
SUSAN SARANDON – BERNARD AND DORIS

23. BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
RALPH FIENNES – BERNARD AND DORIS
PAUL GIAMATTI – JOHN ADAMS
KEVIN SPACEY – RECOUNT
KIEFER SUTHERLAND – 24: REDEMPTION
TOM WILKINSON – RECOUNT

24. BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A SERIES, MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
EILEEN ATKINS – CRANFORD
LAURA DERN – RECOUNT
MELISSA GEORGE – IN TREATMENT
RACHEL GRIFFITHS – BROTHERS AND SISTERS
DIANNE WIEST – IN TREATMENT

25. BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A SERIES, MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
NEIL PATRICK HARRIS – HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER
DENIS LEARY – RECOUNT
JEREMY PIVEN – ENTOURAGE
BLAIR UNDERWOOD – IN TREATMENT
TOM WILKINSON – JOHN ADAMS

Hallelujah!!

In a twist of delicious irony, conservative loud-mouth and the all-around Queen of racist ass-hats - Ann Coulter has broken her jaw and had to have it wired shut. As in no disgusting reactionary racist sentiments can come out of her pie-hole..not that she isn't still thinking it (and as Lewis Black says "If you think it, you said it asshole!"). NY Post reports:

although we didn't think it would be pos sible to silence Ann Coulter, the leggy
reaction- ary broke her jaw and the mouth that roared has been wired shut

It about freakin time! Now all we need to do is drop a house on this bitch and be done with her.

Whoops HuffPo

Big news day as Obama announces his economic team. The kind of news day liberal minded news sites, like say Huffington Post, could really sink their teeth into and take advantage of. But it appears someone may have dropped the ball at the HuffPo...






I'm not so sure they captured Larry Summers from his "good side".

Let's take a look at the full image they decided to use on their front page...




Is it just me or does it look like these guys just came back from a water chugging contest in Tijuana?

Trailer Watch: Adventureland & The Wrestler

Although last week saw the release of new trailers for some big-time motion pictures including Disney's Race To Witch Mountain and J.J. Abrams' Star Trek, there were two trailers for lesser known (depending on who you are talking to) movies that really caught my attention.

Adventureland

"It was the worst job they ever imagined...and the best time of their lives."

First up is Greg Mattola's Adventureland. It is the story of a recent college graduate who takes a shit job at a local amusement park to make some extra cash. The story is based on Mattola's own experiences working at Adventureland Amusement Park on Long Island.

I have some fond (and some not-so-fond) memories of hanging out at Adventureland in summers past, drinking malt liquor out of 40oz Blimpie cups, and trying not to get sick on the Pirate Ship & Musik Express.



Adventureland is a coming-of-age comedy written & directed by Greg Mattola, who made is bones in Hollywood with last year's coming-of-age comedy hit Superbad. It stars Jesse Eisenberg, Ryan Reynolds, Bill Hader, Kristen Wiig, Martin Starr, and my current (Twilight aside) celeb crush Kristen Stewart.

The Wrestler

Next up is Darren Aronofky's critically acclaimed The Wrestler. This film picked up HUGE buzz off the festivals, mostly due to the comeback performance of Mickey Rourke. I have read nothing but amazing things about this film and it will surely get lots of mentions, especially for Rourke, come Oscar time.

I have never been a huge Aronofsky fan, but this looks like one of those films that doesn't come around to often. I will definitely be checking it out when it hits theaters next month.



The Wrestler is directed by Darren Aronofsky (Pi, Requiem for a Dream, The Fountain) and stars Mickey Rourke, Marisa Tomei, and Evan Rachel Wood. It hits theaters Dec. 17th, 2008.

Side note: Did you ever think we could potentially have an Oscar's that would have Mickey Rourke and Robert Downey Jr. both potentially winning awards? How do you think Tatum O'Neal is feeling about this?

Saved By Zero Kills

Genius!

"Enemy" & "Jungle" Get The Axe From NBC

It was announced this week that "My Own Worst Enemy" starring Christian Slater and "Lipstick Jungle" were both being canceled by NBC.

This comes as no surprise, even though it seemed like NBC was pushing "Enemy" hard (it's television ads were nearly as ubiquitous as those damn "saved by zero" spots) and "Jungle" had been for some unknown reason given a second season. Both shows sucked so hard they could take the chrome off a tailpipe.

What is surprising....that shit stain of a show "Knight Rider" survives. Producers of the show claim to be re-vamping the show, but not even the fact that Val "Iceman" Kilmer does the voice of K.I.T.T. can save it.

Looking on the bright side, "Friday Night Lights" will take one of these time slots once it returns to NBC after its run on Directv.

Of course with the failure of the much hyped "Enemy", last season's disaster "Bionic Woman", and a steady decline in ratings for "Heroes" there is some mudslinging going on at NBC. It appears that once again Co-Chairman Ben Silverman (the apparent Teflon Don of NBC) will once again avoid taking any heat for the failure of prominent NBC shows. The shit storm all seems to be touching down in Universal Media President Katherine Pope's domain. Pope, who was one of the original producers of "Heroes", basically got the job based on the success of that show. Now there is concern that she is qualified for the job. According the the NY Post (I know, a dubious source) she has gotten the nickname "The Black Widow" because "every show she touches turns to death". Ouch.

Meanwhile Silverman, who hasn't had the best run of luck with shows lately either (we looking at you Knight Rider, Kath & Kim, and Crusoe), is in talks to re-up his contract with the studio. Yeah, it seems his failures save the company money and it's all about the bottom line and not silly things like ratings and quality.

The way I see it, as long as NBC keeps "The Office", "30 Rock", and "Chuck" going I am a happy camper.

Linday Lohan is an Out of Touch Tool

Lindsay Lohan went into her interview with Access Hollywood's Maria Menounos determined to show just how smart she really is. She decided to hit the ground running and jump right in to the hot topic of politics and the election of Barack Obama. Things went pretty well for Lohan...for about 30 seconds. That's about when she referred to Obama as "our first colored president".

Colored. Seriously.

Lohan went on to say "As the chairman of the Welcoming Committee, it is my privilege to extend a laurel, and hearty handshake to our new . . . n****r."

(Just kidding...that was good old Howard Johnson from Blazing Saddles.)

Headline: "City Councilam Pisses On A Crowd Of People, Gets Arrested"...He Must Be From New Jersey.

Yup, I was right. Jersey City, NJ City Councilman (for the time being) Steve Lipski got drunk and pissed off a 2nd floor balcony onto the crowd below him at a concert in Washington DC. This is as good of a metaphor for government that I have ever heard. NBC New York reports:

A Jersey City councilman has reportedly been arrested for urinating on a
crowd of concertgoers from the balcony of a Washington D.C. nightclub.
The New York Daily News reports in Sunday's editions that two-term Jersey
City councilman Steve Lipski has been charged with simple assault.
The newspaper says 44-year-old Lipski was removed from a place called the
9:30 Club on Friday night. That's after club staffers saw him relieve himself
onto the crowd from a second floor balcony during a concert by a Grateful Dead
tribute band.

I salute you Councilman Lipski. You have struck a might blow against the hippie horde. Their passive nature and pitchouli stench threaten our way of life. Bravo sir.

And It Begins

President-elect Barack Obama's motorcade had to make an unexpected stop while on their way to a security briefing with the FBI in Chicago. An LA Times pool reporter witnessed the incident:

The SUV cut the car off immediately, and the security team aimed their weapons
at the car. The driver and passenger in the sedan stopped, and looked stunned --
until the male driver appeared to understand what was happening (your pool
reporter could see him mouth "Obama"). The motorcade continued on. The sedan
remained stopped, near the side of the road. [...] Some of the drivers here in
Chicago do not seem to understand that a) the Chicago police car at the end of
the president-elect's motorcade is serious about having traffic pull over when
the officers flash their lights and hit their sirens, and b) it's not a great
idea to jump ahead of traffic by trying to cut around the black SUV filled with
five heavily-armed secret service CAT members.

I love the part about the driver mouthing "Obama". I am pretty sure they left out the part where he mouth "oh shit" and then winced a little as he crapped his pants.

Someone Needs A Xanax

It appears no one is taking the 2008 election results harder than W's dog Barney.

"That One" Won

(Patrck Moberg)

Pretty. Friggin. Cool.

Now the real work begins. Even though President-Elect Barack H. Obama does not get sworn in until Jan. 20th his transition into this nation’s highest office starts today.

First order of business is selecting and naming his first Chief-of Staff. Front runner for the position is Rep. Rahm Emanuel, the 4th highest ranking Democrat in the House of Representatives, Chair of the Democratic Caucus, and the man mostly responsible for the Democrats huge success in the 2006 elections.

I LOVE this choice. Emanuel is widely regarded as an enforcer and pit-bull (no lipstick). He was one of the principles that helped get Bill Clinton elected and was for a long time considered “the brains” of the Clinton White House. He was the staffer that took on the projects everyone viewed as unwinnable…and won. He was responsible for things like the ban on assault weapons and squaring off with Republicans on Clinton Impeachment. In a 2005 feature about Emanuel in Rolling Stone magazine the politician from Chicago was described as:

He's got this big old pair of brass balls, and you can just hear 'em clanking
when he walks down the halls of Congress," says Paul Begala, who served with
Emanuel on Clinton's staff. "The Democratic Party is full of Rhodes scholars --
Rahm is a road warrior. He's just what the Democrats need to fight back."

More importantly, he was the basis for the character Joshua Lyman on The West Wing. (Interesting note: His brother Ari is a Hollywood agent and the basis for Ari on Entourage).

My favorite story about Emanuel that I have heard though is about the night after Clinton won the election. While at a celebratory dinner with his colleagues, he became so enraged about the newly elected president’s enemies that he stood up and starting listing off their names, shouting “Dead…dead…dead” after each name and stabbing the table with a steak knife.

This guy is my kind of lunatic!

Spielberg and A Shit-Ton of Famous People

VOTE!

(Jason Segal is a Republican? I am confused.)

(Props to Timberlake for funniest line)

America...Fuck Yeah! (Part 3 in a Series)

This video is part of the America...Fuck Yeah! series.

After a struggle spanning more than 70 years the women's suffrage movement secured the right to vote for women in the US with the passing of the 19th Amendment. Listen closely after watching this video; you can hear Elizabeth Stanton, Lucretia Mott, and Susan B. Anthony rolling over in their graves.

A-Rod, No Pants, Madonna Nowhere To Be Seen

Guitar Hero 4's newest TV spot, or as I like to call it "A Collection of the Douchiest Athletes of All-Time".

A-Rod, Tony Hawk, Golden Boy Phelps, and Kobe reenact Tom Cruise's lip-Synch scene in Risky Business.

Notice how they only put the black man in pants in order to not embarrass the others.

Will Ferrell's W. Makes Triumphacated Return

I keep forgetting about SNL Weekend Update Thursday Edition. Last night Will Ferrell revived his George W Bush caricature to give his endorsement in this important election between "the hot lady and the Tiger Woods guy". Tina Fey shows up for yet another strong performance as Sarah Palin.

I recently heard an interview with SNL Head Writer Seth Meyers during which he discussed Ferrell's W. character. Meyer's talked about how it became increasingly difficult for Ferrell to do the character after 9/11. Bush had transcended from this Joe College president to the country's pillar of strength in one of our darkest hours. He could no longer in full faith play W. as the frat boy in the oval office. Now that W. is a lame duck, it appears it's game on for Ferrell.

Ferrell intends on bringing his W. character to Broadway early 2009 (around the inauguration).

(Transcript can be found below)



WILL FERRELL AS PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH - "Hello, my fellow Americans. I have chosen to schedule this impromptu address at night because quite frankly every time I speak during the day, the Stock Market goes in the crapper. So, sorry, Asian markets. You take the hit on this one. I come to you tonight in the midst of a very important election between two very qualified candidates: the hot lady and the Tiger Woods guy. Both candidates are heavily patriotized and display much characterization. And yes, I did have three Xanax and a Silver Bullet about a half-hour ago. I'm out of here in a few months, so screw it. But before I leave I wanted to help Sarah Palin and John McCain by giving them what every candidate wants most: a prime-time heavily publicized network endorsement from George W. Bush. Hey, don't pinch yourself John, you are awake!"

FERRELL AS BUSH (CONT'D) -- "Now I tried to do this several months ago but somehow it kept getting pushed to a written press release or a shouted sentence as I walked to the helicopter. I began to suspect that they didn't want my endorsement to be too public. But now with the country on a big upswing and my numbers on the rise, I thought it was time to give a proper, large scale 'much love' to McCain and Palin..."
(WILL FORTE, as an AIDE enters and whispers in BUSH's ear)

FERRELL AS BUSH (CONT'D) - "What? Really? Why didn't you tell me Jeff? I've just been told by my trusted aide Jeff, that the country is actually in a horrible downward spiral and that my approval numbers are lower than ever. That one's on me. Four months ago, I declared the Oval Office a bummer-free zone. So... You know what, let's bring on Senator McCain and Governor Palin."

(TINA FEY as GOVERNOR SARAH PALIN enters smiling and waving and sits next to BUSH on the front the desk)

TINA FEY AS GOVERNOR SARAH PALIN - "So nice to meet you, Mr. President. I've seen you on TV."
FERRELL AS BUSH - "Where's McRage?"

FEY AS PALIN - "You know, John McCain and I have been so busy travelin' around this great country of ours talkin' about change and energy independence and William Ayers, and doin' a little shoppin', but unfortunately Senator McCain, upon hearing you wanted to give him a super public endorsement, cannot be found. He was last seen travelin' on foot through the Adirondacks. But my husband and two of his drinkin' buddies are in pursuit on snowmachines.

FERRELL AS BUSH - "Well, We'll smoke him out. George Bush always finds his man save for one huge exception."

FEY AS PALIN - "We are gonna get 'er done."

FERRELL AS BUSH - "My God you are folksy."

FEY AS PALIN - "Why thank you Mr. President. I like to think I'm one part practiced folksy , one part sassy and a little dash of high school bitchy."

FERRELL AS BUSH - "For a little while I was trying to be folksy but after a bit, it just came off douchey. All right, let me get into my endorsement for you as Vice President. As you know America, the office of Vice President is the most important office in the land. The Vice President decides when we go to war, how we tax the citizens and how we interpret the Constitution. The President can do nothing without checking with the Vice President. That is why Sarah Palin..."

FEY AS PALIN - "Actually, Mr. President, I don't want to go all Katie Couric on you, but I think it's actually the other way around. I think the Vice President reports to the President."

FERRELL AS BUSH - "Really? That's not what Dick Cheney told me when he sat me down on the first day."

(DARRELL HAMMOND as SENATOR JOHN MCCAIN is brought in, struggling with JASON SUDEIKIS as TODD PALIN in a snowsuit.)

SUDEIKIS AS TODD PALIN - "We out-mavericked the maverick!"

HAMMOND AS MCCAIN - "Good evening, my friends. Mr. President, always a pleasure."

FERRELL AS BUSH - "Good to see you, John. Hey let's get a photo of this; it'll really help your campaign out. Now let me do this: I, George W. Bush, endorse John McCain and Sarah Palin with all my heart..."
(MCCAIN tries to drift out of frame but is pulled back by BUSH)FERRELL AS BUSH (cont'd) - "John was there for me ninety percent of the time over the last eight years. When you think of John McCain, think of me, George W. Bush. Think of this face. When you're in the voting booth, before you vote - picture this face right here. A vote for John McCain is a vote for George W. Bush.(to MCCAIN) You're welcome. So, I want to be there you, John for the next eight years."

FEY AS PALIN -The next sixteen years!

FERRELL AS BUSH - (to an off-camera photographer) "Let's get a safety. I think I blinked on that last shot. Thumbs up, everybody. But most of all I support them because...Live from New York...It's Saturday Night!!!!

America...Fuck Yeah! (part 2 of a series)

Welcome to "America...Fuck Yeah!" a series of stories, articles, and anecdotes about the various personalities involved in upcoming election and the American citizens that will be voting for them. This series aims to shine a light on a broad cross-section of absurdity in the American political experience. It will try to be nonpartisan (as much as humanly possible) and thought provoking…the thought more often than not being "Ummm maybe we should consider Canada".

That Scarf Makes You Look Like An Ass!

We have all read about the $150,000 that the McCain/Palin campaign has spent on new clothing and accessories for Sarah Palin and family. Personally I am OK with this, even though that kind of money can probably buy a family a home in some of these “small-towns” that Palin likes to call “real America”; I realize the RNC can’t have their VP candidate and family running around in Hooters t-shirts and trucker hats. They had to get them a new wardrobe.

At a campaign stop in Reno, NV on Tuesday Gov. Palin broke out an accessory from her shopping spree. Photos show the candidate wearing a brightly colored red white & blue scarf with the word “vote” on it. It’s a patriotic keffiyeh that advocates voting…no problem there, right?

Wait… are the animals doing the conga line around the word vote what I think they are?

You betcha! Those are Donkeys, the mascot of Democratic Party. But Gov. Palin would never adorn herself with such an anti-American beast on purpose right? This is obviously some sort of conspiracy by those pinko commie un-patriotic liberal left wing socialist radicals at Saks Fifth Avenue and Neiman Marcus.

This woman may be Vice President. America…Fuck Yeah!

(H/T to Huffpo & Jezebel) (Images from Getty)

America...Fuck Yeah! (Part 1 of series)

Welcome to "America...Fuck Yeah!" a series of stories, articles, and anecdotes about the various personalities involved in upcoming election and the American citizens that will be voting for them. This series aims to shine a light on a broad cross-section of absurdity in the American political experience. It will try to be nonpartisan (as much as humanly possible) and thought provoking…the thought more often than not being "Ummm maybe we should consider Canada".

The first post in this series was originally posted yesterday over on Deus Ex Malcontent. It is a no-joke, totally exists, posting from the Christ-centric online community "In Jesus".

Block African witchcraft curses against McCain and Palin NOW!
Jim Bramlett Sep 28 2008 04:12PM

Dear friends:THIS IS EXTREMELY SERIOUS.Minutes ago I spoke with
friend Dr. Norman G. Marvin, M.D. and he is so concerned at what he has learned
about Barack Obama's family in Kenya that he is calling a special prayer meeting
in his home to pray against the witchcraft curses attempted by them against John
McCain and Sarah Palin.Dr. Marvin sent me the below e-mail from Flo
Ellers. Flo is credentialed with the International Fellowship of
Ministries which is based in Washington State. She is also a member of
EndTime Handmaidens and Servants of Jasper, Arkansas.
IF YOU KNOW HOW TO DO SPIRITUAL WARFARE, PLEASE PRAY TODAY AND
CONTINUALLY THAT ALL SUCH CURSES BE BROKEN AND SATAN'S PLAN FOR AMERICA BE
DEFEATED, IN JESUS' NAME. PRAY AND COVER MCCAIN AND PALIN WITH THE BLOOD
OF CHRIST. IF YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW TO DO SPIRITUAL WARFARE, IT IS TIME YOU
LEARN!!!Jim
______________________________________

From Flo Ellers. Excerpt.

Two days ago, I listened to a 9-6-08 message by Bree Keyton, a young
woman evangelist who had just traveled to Kenya and visited Obama's home village
and what she found out about his relations with his tribal people was chilling.
And his "cousin" Odinga was dreadful. She said the witches, warlocks and those
involved in satanism and the occult get up daily at 3 a.m. to release curses
against McCain and Palin so B. Hussein Obama is elected.

Bree Keyton told the tribal "Christians" you are NOT Christian if you
practice "tribalism" where they do voodoo to conjure up a goddess spirit or a
"genie" and then come to church on Sunday to worship Jesus! What she discovered
there is apparent in most churches around the world; namely, mixture in the
church. Some renounced their devilish practices of blood covenant by killing
sheep, goats, humans to be inducted into the tribe or to get a wife or to get
revenge.

She said the current president of Kenya is a Christian. However,
Obama's cousin Odinga ran aganist him and said he rigged the election and
stirred up the masses to rape woman and boys, kill and burn and torture
Christians, etc. until Obama contacted Condeleeza Rice and she granted Obama the
right to contact Odinga and other ruling elders and he "convinced" them to stop
terrorizing the Christians. Bree Keyton said the current Christian President was
forced by our government (!) to "create" an office for Odinga (to make "peace")
so he was made the Prime Minister (!) to make peace between the Christians and
Odinga's Muslim religion!

Bree Keyton went and visited Obama's tribal people and she found out
Obama is 75% Arab and his family are Muslims. Odinga is strill trying to become
the President of Kenya. If he does, he will make a law forbidding all public
preaching and institute Sharia Law. Bree K. said Odinga has made a pact with
satan.

Bree K. also said when Obama visited his tribe in '06 and as late as
Jan. '08 he went to every elder's home which has a "shrine" inside to worship
the genie and asked for their blessing. She was told Obama and Odinga were both
"destined" before they were born to be president/leader of their nation. They
say "he is the chosen one". She said Obama's grandmother sacrificed a black and
a white chicken to the "goddess of the river" so both whites and blacks will
vote for Obama. All Islam loves and worships Obama. The world is mesmerized by
him. Oprah's 200 million followers are out to elect Obama. Also, Dick Morris of
Fox News was sent to Kenya to help Odinga run his campaign! I find that
unbelievable.

The occultists are "weaving lazy 8's around McCain's mind to make him
look confused and like an idiot".

Bree K. said we need to break these curses off of him that are being
sent from Kenya.I read a portion of "Obama Nation" book and looked at several
websites and found most of this information to be true, all except the curses
part, of course....End of excerpt.

Don't believe it? Here's the link to "In Jesus". Still don't believe it? Here is the link to Bree Keyton Ministries. Check out the first paragraph of Bree K's bio...classic.

America...Fuck Yeah!

Please check out Deus Ex Malcontent...it truly is some of the smartest writing on the Internet.

Iceland is Broke!

You read that headline correctly, The Republic of Iceland is currently fighting for their economic lives. According to the Guardian:

By the start of this year, Iceland's three banks had foreign liabilities of more
than $100bn– dwarfing the country's gross domestic product of $14bn.
Now,
suddenly, everything may be gone, the economy wiped out with the same
cataclysmic devastation that was regularly visited on the land by the eruptions
and plagues of earlier centuries.

Now admittedly, apart from Reyka Vodka (yum!) I don't know much about Iceland, their history, or their economic system, but I would have to imagine this is all some sort of karmic retribution for unleashing Bjork on the world.

Here's my suggestion. Let Disney buy the country. Owning a whole country really is the only logical step in the company's progression.

Don't Call It A Comeback

First off, allow me to apologize for the prolonged and never-mentioned absence. Without getting into details, a few major things happened to me the past few months that pulled me in many directions and acted as a major distraction in my life. Suffice to say this blog became collateral damage.

But that is in the past now and we are back online.

You can expect to see the usual array of entertainment and pop-culture stories and news, as well as some possible new features (don't want to say anything into everything is set in stone).

I also intend on adding some political coverage for at least the next few months. This is a historic election with the possibility of this country's first African American President or this country's dumbest person (possibly ever) being elected Vice President (I would mention she is the first woman GOP nominee for that position, but her stupidity exceeds her femininity by a long shot). We as a nation in many respects are at a precipice...strap in folks, it's gonna get interesting.

I am thrilled to be back and am looking forward to bringing the snark.
(If things seem a tad sparse at first please bear with me as I get the ball rolling again.)

John Waters Returns!

John Waters is back and is as crazy as ever! Waters newest project is called Fruitcake and its plot sounds about as odd as one would expect from a Waters film...oh and IT"S A CHRISTMAS MOVIE.

via FirstShowing.net
Fruitcake centers on the title character, a boy named after his favorite dessert. He runs away from home during the holidays after he and his parents are caught shoplifting meat, then meets up with a runaway girl raised by two gay men who is searching for her birth mother.

Waters is returning to the directors chair for the first time since his NC-17 flop A Dirty Shame (2004). Johnny Knoxville and Parker Posey have already signed on to the project. Both are solid indie actors that seem tailor made for John Water characters.

I wouldn't be surprised if we saw some cameos from many of the previous John Waters players or some of the cast members of the remake of Hairspray.

I was raised on Hairspray (the movie, not my parents spraying aerosol cans in my face...although it may explain a few things), so I am always excited when a new Waters film comes along.

Iron Man made $104, 250,000 domestically this weekend (including its Thursday cash intake). That makes it the second biggest non-sequel and tenth biggest overall opening of all-time.

From everything I have heard this movie is the tits! It has the rare combination of audience and critics approval. For further proof just look at its score at Rotten Tomatoes...a super impressive 94% fresh.

I think what is getting lost amongst the hype for Iron Man and the feel good story of Robert Downey Jr.'s comeback is that Jon Favreau (yeah the fat guy from Rudy) may have just made the "perfect" movie.

For those of you going to see it, or are going to see it again, stick around till after the credits for a surprise scene that gives us a hint about future Marvel Studios movies.

Miley Cyrus' Yard Gets Stomped!

Random video day continues.

Turns out when Miley Cyrus isn't creating a stir with relatively tame photos, she's starting online dance wars with the ACDC Dance Crew. Directed by Step Up 2: The Streets director Jon Chu (who is the C in AC) and featuring Adam Sevani (the A in AC), the video is packed with big time cameos by the likes of Lindsay Lohan, Adam Sandler, Diana Ross (?!?!), Chris Brown, Hairspray stars Elijah Kelley, Amanda Bynes and Brittany Snow, Hairspray director/choreographer Adam Shankman, Americas Best Dance Crew winners The Jabbawokeez, and a bunch of So You Think You Can Dance contestants.

The video is bizarre, fun, and mesmerizing all at the same time. Apparently there are a bunch of Hannah Montana references in there as well.

The video that started it:

Watchu Talkin Bout Judge Toler?

Today is officially creepy, weird, yet funny video day at Haters.
Here's Gary Coleman talking about his less than stellar libido on Divorce Court.

Excuse me while I got enjoy a nice refreshing brain aneurysm.

Geronimooooo!

This has to be the weirdest/funniest video I've seen in a long time.
India Baby Toss.

This explains why my Dell tech support blows!

Dark Knight Viral Campaign Continues

If you went to whysoserious.com (the joker themed viral marketing site for The Dark Knight) over the weekend, you would have found coordinates (longitude and latitude) for the various starting points of a Joker themed scavenger hunt in cities around the globe.

The scavenger hunt took the participants all around the city, eventually leading them to the location of a theater that had a special screening of the newest Dark Knight trailer. One lucky participant in each city even got to keep a 35mm copy of the trailer (a very cool souvenir).

Yesterday the first grainy video of the trailer was leaked online.

Today a "Jokerized" version of the same trailer was leaked. This is seriously cool, this is the first time I can remember a "hacked" trailer. The dual viral marketing campaign (Joker & Harvey Dent character based) for this film is pure genius!

Which One Is The Biggest Phallic Symbol?

This picture of Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt was taken in Washington D.C. a day after the duo appeared at the fucking White House Correspondents Dinner.


Aaaaand I'm moving to Canada.

Trailer Watch: Catch Up Edition

Due to missing last week's Trailer Watch I am going to do a speed round this week with multiple trailers:

Hancock
The lone blockbuster to come out on July 4th this is year star the Independence Day movie king Will Smith and surprise surprise it's a superhero movie. Well actually it's more like an anti-superhero superhero movie. Smith plays a cranky vagabond begrudging superhero who is in need of an image makeover. The special effects look good and it has the potential of being funny (Will Smith + Jason Bateman = Funny).


Young People F-cking
A movie about young people fucking...go figure. This movie was so popular at the Toronto Film Festival you would have assumed it was about hockey.


Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
A new full length trailer for the next installment of the Narnia films. This trailer definitely makes the film appear to be darker than the first Narnia film. One interesting note on these movies; production has already begun on the third installment The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, but Disney has made no mention of anything beyond that (there are 7 books in the series). In fact Disney has already ramped up their efforts on another multi-film franchise, which pretty much shows they have no faith in the Narnia movies.


Henry Poole Is Here
A dramedy starring Luke Wilson as Henry Poole, a guy who becomes locally famous when believe start to believe they can see an image of Jesus on the side of his house. The movie follows Poole as he learns to deal with his new found fame and faith. The movie reminds me of another quirky dramedy, Stranger Than Fiction, which I really enjoyed.


Hamlet 2
At $10 Million this was the big sale at Sundance. Hamlet 2 is an irreverent comedy about a high school drama teacher looks to motivate his students and save his department by writing a sequel to Shakespeare's "Hamlet". Steve Coogan plays the Dana Marsch, the drama teacher in question. Marsch is a character who is keenly aware of the heroic teachers in films like Dangerous Minds & Lean on Me, in fact he truly believe he is one of them...but he is not. I am a fan of any movie in which Amy Poehler says "The so called Supreme Court can suck my balls!". I should also mention that Hamlet 2 is written by the same people who worked on Team America: World Police and many many South Park episodes, so you know what to expect.

A Sex Tape Classic

I was M.I.A. for a few days. During that time many different things went down including (but not limited to):

• The revelation that Britney Spears has been filming her year long tailspin and the videos will no doubt sell for millions (and that maybe the joke is on us).
• Amy Winehouse being entrusted with the well being of another living being. Even for a minute this is a bad idea. Don't believe me? Check out this picture for proof.
• Ashlee Simpson getting knocked up, NOT being preggers, and being preggers all over again (more on this in a bit).
  

My favorite story however is that there is a Marilyn Monroe sex tape, and that's not even the best part. The tape was allegedly made by the FBI!!!

"The footage appears to have been shot in the 1950s. When it came to light in the mid-'60s, then-FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover had his agents spend two weeks futilely trying to prove that Monroe's sex partner was either John F. Kennedy or Robert F. Kennedy, according to declassified agency documents and interviews, Morgan said. The silent black-and-white flick shows Monroe on her knees in front of a man whose face is just out of the shot. He never moves into the shot, indicating that he knew the camera was there, but Monroe never looks at the lens..."

He never shows his face? If I was getting head from Marilyn Monroe I would want everyone to see me and my giant shit-eating grin, because I would be getting head from Marylin Monroe. In fact there would be plenty of footage of me...It would be me high-fiving everyone I see, because I got head from Marilyn Monroe.

The 16mm film of Monroe was reportedly sold to an unnamed businessman for $1.5 Mil. The man who bought the film has stated that it will not be released.

I guess we are just have to settle for for a video of Lindsay Lohan dressed up as Marilyn (again) getting anal from one of the American Gladiators while her face is buried in the crotch of a tranny.


As I mentioned earlier, it was reported at the beginning of the week that Ashlee Simpson was pregnant. Yesterday Ashlee's life partner Pete Wentz got all emo on us and threw a hissy fit until we all believe that Ashlee was in fact not pregnant. Today it is being reported again that she is indeed preggers.

Personally, I am firmly entrenched in the "Not Pregnant" camp because two vagina's don't make a baby. On the other hand, if you told me Pete Wentz was knocked up I'd probably believe you.

Chances are she used the word pregnant as some sort of retard slang and someone overheard and overreacted. For example; "I got a flat tire yesterday, I was soooo pregnant about it!" or "My sister's lips are pregnant" or "I hate Pete Wentz, why won't he just fade into inevitable obscurity already?"...ok that last one was me, but you get the point.

Trailer Watch: Forgetting Sarah Marshall

Forgetting Sarah Marshall is the latest salvo in the Judd Apatow dominance of Hollywood. FSM stars Jason Segel, who plays a guy who goes on vacation to get over his recent break-up with his TV star girlfriend (Fanboy favorite Kristen Bell), only to find out she is staying at the same resort with her new beau. I'm sure heartfelt hilarity ensues. From the looks of it FSM will continue in the proud tradition of The 40 year Old Virgin, Knocked Up, and Superbad.

FSM also has one hell of a supporting cast; Mila Kunis (!), Russell Brand, Bill Hader, Jack McBrayer (!!), Jason Bateman, and the Apatow Players -- Paul Rudd, Jonah Hill, and Carla Gallo. In the BA* years this movie would have been starring Ben Stiller and his "Frat Pack" buddies, so I'd have to say upgrade.



I'm really expecting Jason Segel to follow in fellow Apatow disciple Seth Rogen's footsteps and blow up once this movie is released on the 18th. I have been a fan of his all the way back to when he played Eric, the obsessive ex-boyfriend of Lizzie (Carla Gallo), on "Undeclared". He was hysterical in Knocked Up and currently he stars on "How I Met Your Mother", one of my favorite sitcoms. Segel also recently announced that he has a new Muppets movie in the works, which, if done right and with the right people (I'm assuming he will tap guys like Seth Rogen, Jonah Hill, Jay Baruchel, etc. to take part) could be awesome.

Dios Mio!

Venezuelan "President" Hugo Chavez has banned The Simpsons from airing in his country because he is a crazy asshat. Ole' Chuckles Chavez claims the cartoon is "inappropriate" for children.

What did they replace this "inappropriate" show that was tainting the minds of the Venezuelan youth with?

Baywatch: Hawaii.

¡Viva el Hoff!

Way Behind on NBC "In-Front"

Last week NBC held a mini-Upfront, or what they are now calling "In-Front" (they did theirs ahead of the other networks and gave it a cute name). In case you are unaware an upfront is where networks roll out their new schedules for the upcoming year.

Let's check out what NBC has day-by-day.

Sunday
During the fall Sundays on NBC is a good new/bad news situation. Good news - Sunday Night Football! Bad news - The return of the John Madden/AlMichaels announce team. I'm dumber just thinking about it.
After the football season two new shows, "Merlin" and "Kings", will bookend "Medium" in the 9pm slot. Bet you can't guess what Merlin is about. Give up? "Merlin" is about a young Merlin and Arthur in Camelot. Don't know much about this one yet, but could be interesting. Will keep an eye out. The other show, "Kings", is a modernized version of the King David Bible stories. Other than IanMcShane being attached, I could care less.

Monday
"Chuck" and Heroes" will return in the fall to their normal time slots. The 10pm slot in the fall will be "My Own Worst Enemy" the new show starring Christian Slater. Slater plays a suburban father/spy. The catch is Slater's character has a split personalities separated by a "wall". When the wall deteriorates, Slater becomes his own worst enemy. Crazy Christian Slater = Awesome.

In the Spring the 10pm slot will be filled be another new show called "The Philanthropist" about ...and I'm not kidding here...swear to God this is true....a vigilante philanthropist. Unless Bill Gates is being hired out to clip those that have done society wrong, I'm tuning out.

Mondays will also have it's fair share of "Deal or No Deal" and more "American Gladiator" with philandering (which is completely different than philanthropy) host Hulk Hogan.

Tuesday
starting at 8pm "The Biggest Loser" returns for back-to-back seasons (Fall & Spring). If you are not into fat bodies why not try dead bodies at 10pm when "Law & Order:SVU" returns to its normal time slot for another year.

In the 9pm hour we have "Kath & Kim", an Aussie import starring Selma Blair playing the daughter to Molly Shannon's mother (If you do the math, Molly Shannon would have to had given birth at the age of 8). "K&K" is Exec. Produced & Directed by PaulFeig who, I just recently learned, is one of those guys in Hollywood I really respected but never knew their name. Feig is the creator of the Apatow produced "Freaks & Geeks" and has directed episodes of "Undeclared", "Arrested Development", "30 Rock", "Mad Men", "Weeds", and "The Office". I'm gonna giveFeig the benefit of the doubt and give this show a chance.

Wednesday
There is no good reason to watch the Peacock on Wednesdays this fall. It is a veritable shit storm of crap TV. Fucking "Knight Rider" and "Lipstick Jungle" with even more "Deal or No Deal" shoved in between.

In the Spring NBC's televised Colonoscopy lets up a bit. The original "Law & Order" takes over at 10pm.

In the Summer NBC brings us a new reality show called "Shark Taggers". The show is literally about a bunch of marine biologists the follow around and tag sharks. It's shark fever, catch it! "Shark Taggers" will be followed by "Paint Drying" & "Grass Growing". Fuck Wednesdays.

Thursday
Almost all of the favorites are coming back. Regular episodes of"My Name is Earl" & "30 Rock" and then more of those hour long episodes of "The Office"*. Not really sure why they are doing the hour episodes again as it really diluted the show and threw off the pacing. But not to worry, the hour long episodes won't last all season. When "The Office" returns to its normal 30 minute format NBC will fill the second half hour with prime time episodes of "SNL" focused entirely on politics. The 30 minute political SNL's will be comprised of sketches and mini-Weekend (Weekday?) Updates. I love this idea, it has got to be one of the best NBC has ever had.

"ER" returns for a 19 episode last hoorah. Once "ER" takes its final bow it will be replaced by "Celebrity Apprentice". Whatever.

* Did you know "The Office" is gonna have a spinoff? Not sure what it's going to be yet, but I have heard from a trusted source that it does not involve any main characters and possibly focuses on the warehouse guys. All I do know for sure is that it is the same creative team behind "The Office" so I will give this the benefit of the doubt as well.

You might have noticed that there is no "Scrubs" mention. Well as far as NBC is concerned "Scrubs" is done. There is a chance the remaining episodes will find a home on ABC, but nothing has been announced.

Friday
Friday is where TV shows go to die. "Crusoe", a new take on the old Robinson Crusoe story, has been stranded here (get it?). "Crusoe" is obviously gonna be crap and won't last long. After "Crusoe" (until its inevitable cancellation) will be even even more "Deal or No Deal". No Deal please.

In January is the triumphant return of "Friday Night Lights". FNL season 3 will run first on DirecTV and then on NBC. I'll take what I can get.

Saturday
SNL.

Between now and the Fall season NBC is planning webisodes of shows like "30 Rock", "Chuck", and "The Office". Also new 30Rock360 with Jack Donaghey.

Don't forget new episodes of "30 Rock" and "The Office" tomorrow night!

Charlton Heston Dead at 84

Screen legend and former president of the NRA, Charlton Heston, died due to undisclosed causes over the weekend. The acting icon, who was either 83 or 84 depending on who you ask (because apparently accurate record keeping 80 years ago was too much to ask for), had reportedly been suffering from the devastating effects of Alzheimer's Disease for a few years.

Charlton Heston was best known for his starring roles in classics like Ben Hur, Planet of the Apes, Soylent Green, Omega Man, Earthquake, and Airplane 75.

Please allow me now to be the 1,095,873,000th person to make the following joke...wait for it....waaiit for it....We can finally pry that gun from his cold, dead hands!

New Dark Knight Stills!

New stills from The Dark Knight have hit the webs. These pictures further prove that this movie is going to redefine the meaning of awesome. Enjoy.

(click to enlarge the images)

As you might be able to tell from the pictures and trailers it appears Christopher Nolan and Co. have brought the Bat out the dark, so to speak. It seems there will me a lot more of the next Batman film taking place during the day, a departure from previous Batman movies.

Rick Roll'd

I am about nine months behind the "Rick Roll'd" pop culture phenomenon. In case you dont know, Rick Roll'd is when you are tricked into watching the video for Rick Astley's unbearably catchy"Never Gonna Give You Up". Getting "Rick Roll'd" most commonly happens when someone sends you a link claiming to be something other than Astley.

From what I can tell the trend started in gaming forums where gamers would click on links for "exclusive footage" of new top secret games, the new Grand Theft Auto for instance, and instead get "Rick Roll'd".

"Rick Roll'd" can also be used in a more general sense to describe any deception or trick. For example: "Elliot Spitzer had us all Rick Roll'd with his tough stance on prostitution. Dude really loves hookers!"

I don't know why but I find this to be fucking hysterical.

Consider yourself Rick Roll'd!

American Teen Poster Seems Eerily Familiar

American Teen, a documentary about 5 seniors and their "cliques" in a small Indiana high school, premiered at the Sundance Film Festival this past year and garnered rave reviews. Director Nanette Burstein received a directing award and the film was nominated for a grand jury prize. It was purchased by Paramount Vantage at the festival and will surely be the "hot" documentary of 2008.

Last week a new catchphrase and poster for American Teen were released:

They were five total strangers, with nothing in common, except the school they went to. A heartthrob, a princess, a jock, a rebel and a geek. Before the year was over, they broke the rules. Bared their souls. And changed in ways they never dreamed possible.

(click to enlarge)

Look familiar?

(click to enlarge)

That's right...it's almost a carbon copy of the The Breakfast Club. Check out the side by side comparison put together by the good folks over at firstshowing.net.



Obviously they are trying to tap into the nostalgia of The Breakfast Club (and fellow John Hughes films), but isn't that promotional tactic a bit self limiting? Unless you are a kid of the 80's and grew up on the "brat pack" movies, do you really feel nostalgic about these films? Are kids these days even aware of The Breakfast club? If they are, can they identify with it they way the 80's generation does? I seriously doubt it.

Add this "Breakfast Club for the next generation" with the announced "Beverly Hills 90210 for the next generation" show in the works, and the rumored NKOTB reunion and we may be on the verge of a nostalgia revolution. Time to break out my old Hypercolor t-shirts and Kriss Kross albums.

In honor of this blatant rip off I thought it might be fun to do a Brat Pack then & now:

Emilio Esteves

Then

Now



















Ally Sheedy
Then















Now



















Judd Nelson
Then


















Now (Yikes!)




















Demi Moore
Then












Now














Andrew McCarthy
Then















Now




















Anthony Michael Hall
Then



















Now




















Molly Ringwald
Then















Now



















Rob Lowe
Then













Now



















Rob definitely aged the best..unless of course crazy is your thing, then give Judd a call.