I present to you the trailer for Mad Money, the P.O.S. movie Katie Holmes decided to make instead of the sequel to Batman Begins. I would have loved to be inside Katie's head while she made her decision...
Let's see, should I make the sequel to a movie about one of the most widely known characters in the world, a movie that made over $300 million in the box office, with Christian Bale, Gary Oldman, Heath Ledger, Aaron Eckhart, Anthony Michael Hall, and Oscar Award winners Morgan Freeman and Michael Caine, directed by Oscar award nominee Christopher Nolan...OR do I make this girl heist comedy project starring Diane Keaton, Queen Latifah, and Ted fucking Danson, directed by that woman who made that Ya-Ya movie?
I think I want to do the comedy movie. It looks sooooo fun, it's like Set it Off but with white people, I love watching Set it Off on TBS at 2am on a Wednesday when I am all alone in my twin sized bed and Suri finally goes to sleep (thanks ambien!)...and the character they want me to play is really quirky and I would be able to show off my full range of talents...plus I will be working with royalty, how cool is that?!?!
Actually it was probably more like...
Xenu is good...I love Tom Cruise...Tom Cruise is not gay...Tom Cruise got me pregnant...John Travolta was hilarious in Hairspray...Xenu is great...Victoria Beckham is pretty...I love my haircut...I must not be as famous as Tom...Praise Xenu...I am happy with my life.
Look at it this way, instead of Joey Potter, we get the beautiful and infinitely more talented Maggie Gyllenhaal. UPGRADE!
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